The Accident
by DeepInTheShadows12345
Summary: Arthur gets himself into a little... predicament and when Francis comes home to find it, he breaks to pieces. But as it turns out, Arthur breaks too and it's up to Francis to try and put the pieces back together. ((Bad Summary, Trigger Warning, Sensitive material, Mentions of cutting, suicide, etc.))
1. I'm dying inside

((AN:Hey guys! Sorry I haven't written for a while! I've been trying to finish this forever and I just found it and rewrote a bunch of it and I'm finally deciding to split it into chapters and maybe that way I'll finish it. It wont be too long, but long enough. I saw a movie a few years back and I got my inspiration from that. Though I don't remember the movie name, whatever. Enjoy~ R&R~))

I've been in this same hospital room for the last five days.  
I've hardly eaten anything, barely slept.  
I'm not a patient though.  
For every second that ticks by my heart breaks a little more.  
The doctors are starting to worry about me. I know them by name now.  
But I'm still worried about _him_.  
Him.  
My friend, my lover.  
My Angleterre.  
The one laying on the hospital bed.  
I sat there, in the chair beside his bed.  
I watched him sleep as his chest rose and fell with every breath he took.  
Whenever he shifted I got my hopes up.  
Maybe he would wake up.  
These last few days have been the longest days of my life.  
I came home from work one day to find my beloved…  
I will never get those images out of my head.  
They have burned their way into my mind's eye and I can't stop thinking about it.  
It was so deep, the cut on his wrist…  
I don't think it will ever heal.

I picked him up and hurried him to the hospital.  
At the end of the night we were both covered in his blood.  
I don't remember the last time I cried so hard.  
In fact, I don't think I ever have.  
I cried until the tears refused to fall anymore.  
The sound of his heart monitor beside his bed has kept me awake.  
The doctor comes in and tells me he's in a coma.  
He could wake up tomorrow, or he might never.  
And that thought scares me.  
The doctor leaves and I find myself crying again.

I still can't stop replaying that scene in my head.  
When I found him…  
My heart is so broken.  
I just don't understand.  
The doctor has told me that he suffered massive blood loss.  
This doesn't surprise me.  
He goes into more detail about how his body responded to what he did to it.  
His body stopped functioning after he had lost so much blood.  
His brain went so long without oxygen it began to die, killing off vital parts of itself.  
He tells me that he might suffer from memory loss.  
He might forget nothing.  
But…  
He might also forget everything.  
That breaks my heart even more.

What if he can't remember me?  
That would kill me.  
The room is silent all aside from the heart monitor and our breathing.  
I'm dying inside.  
I can't wrap my head around this.  
Please, someone tell me it's a nightmare I'll wake up from.  
This can't be real….

The only thing I can ask myself at this point is;  
Is it my fault?  
Did I cause him to go over the edge?  
I can't ever forgive myself.

It's been six nights now, the doctors tell me I need to go home.  
I argue with a few of them, tell them I won't leave him.  
I can't. Not again.  
They force me out of his room, I start throwing punches.  
It's not like me, I know.  
But what can I say?

It was a knockdown-drag out fight.  
There was blood everywhere.  
I might have hospitalized one of the doctors, I'm not really sure.  
I have a bruise on my cheek and a bloody nose. Oh, and a split lip.  
They forbid me from the hospital. Only for a little while though.  
They tell me I can return in three days, unless Arthur wakes up before then.  
I hold my breath for a minute as I stare at the hospital from the parking lot.  
I wipe blood off my face with my sleeve and climb into my car.  
I gripped the steering wheel tight, white-knuckled until the tears start to fall again.  
What's happening to me?

I made it home last night, the first night in many.  
It felt so…empty.  
I felt so lost, so alone.  
I looked around the dark room and remembered the light it once held.  
I remembered all the memories we made here, all the laughs we shared here.  
It will never be the same again.  
I knew I wasn't going to sleep, but I crawled into bed anyways.  
I got in on his side, taking in the familiar scent.  
I was too tired to cry anymore.  
I laid my head on his pillow, wishing it was him filling this space with my arms around him to hold him close.  
There was a distinct sound of crumpling paper. I felt around for a light switch and turned it on.  
I saw an envelope sitting on Arthur's pillow.  
I picked it up and carefully turned it over.  
In curvy letters it read: _Francis_.  
I opened it up and read the letter on the inside.  
It was short, but long enough to reach inside my chest and pull.

_I didn't mean it to end this way. It just kind of… happened. It got out of control and I'm sorry. Just know that I love you with everything that I am and nothing could ever change that._

_ Truly Yours,_

_ Arthur Kirkland.  
_That was it.  
I was done.  
I slid off the side of the bed, falling to my knees.  
The letter flew out of my hands and slipped under the bed.  
I had my face in my hands as I wept on the floor.  
I felt so pathetic, so sad.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I remember being woken up by the phone.  
I'm not sure what time it is or what day it is. Or even where I left the phone.  
After three rings I find it and answer groggily.  
What?  
Oh, thank heavens!  
I hang the phone up in a hurry. I panic a little before deciding my actions.  
I took a quick shower and changed my clothes. I neatened myself up before leaving my house.  
The doctors tell me he's shown signs of waking and they want me there.  
I was asleep for two whole days after I collapsed on the floor crying.  
I was sore but I didn't care, I needed to get to the hospital.

When I arrived the nurses didn't say much to me. The doctors led me to his room.  
He wasn't awake yet, but he was making progress.  
The doctors say he's out of his coma, that now he's only in a deep sleep.  
I can tell by the way he's snoring and mumbling.  
My heart swells in my chest. I'm overwhelmed.  
I take a seat in my chair by his bed and take a few deep breaths. I have a smile on my face.  
I take his hand in mine for the first time in a few days. I relax a little, knowing things will get better.  
I feel rested, even though I didn't sleep very well on my floor.  
Arthur stirred again, his hand twitched for a minute before he sighed and continued dreaming.

As cliché as it sounds, I slipped into dreams myself. I guess I wasn't as well rested as I thought I was, even after two days of uncomfortable sleep. Not that I minded. I actually started to feel comfortable sleeping in that hospital chair.

The next time I woke, everything changed.


	2. Yes, finally

((AN: This chapter switches points of view, back and forth. Try and keep up XD Hope you enjoy! Chapter 3 will be done soon~))

Arthur's POV  
When I opened my eyes, nothing looked familiar.  
I sat up and looked around.  
A hospital?  
I didn't understand why I would be in a hospital.  
But then I remembered.  
It was the only thing I could remember.  
I saw my wrist wrapped in bandages.  
I was ashamed of myself.  
But…  
Who exactly am I?  
I don't remember.  
I looked around the room and spotted an unfamiliar person.  
Long blonde hair.  
The deepest blue eyes.  
And a little stubble that was absolutely to die for.  
But who is he?  
I started to panic.  
I tried to remember.  
I dug as deep as I possibly could into my mind.  
But it seemed pointless.  
All my memories were gone.  
Every little moment that led up to this point in my life was so easily erased.  
I looked up at him again.  
This man… Who was he?  
We just sort of stared at each other for a while.  
Neither of us said anything.  
My eye sight began to blur and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.  
I was so scared.  
I was so confused.  
I have never felt so alone.

"Arthur?" The man asked. I didn't know who he was talking to, so I looked up.  
I wiped my wet face.  
He was looking at me.  
Was I… Is my name Arthur?  
He took my hand carefully.  
I was shaking has he held my hand.  
I closed my eyes and put my head down.  
He stroked the bandages on my arm.  
He didn't say anything, but he had a pained expression.  
He looked like he wanted to ask why.  
What was I supposed to say?  
I didn't remember. Not really.  
I had little flashes rush through my head.  
I remembered the burning pain.  
I remembered laying in a bathtub, covered in blood.  
I shook my head.  
It was the only thing I could do.  
I laid back down on the strange hospital bed.  
I didn't understand what was happening. I just wish I could remember.

Francis' POV  
I hear him shifting in his bed and I wake up.  
I don't even remember falling asleep.  
I call in the doctor.  
The broken pieces of my heart begin to pump and I feel my hopes rising.  
His heart monitor got louder, beeped more frequently as his heart sped up.  
Yes.  
Finally.  
He's awake.

He looks at me, a bit frantically.  
He doesn't say anything.  
I'm so scared.  
What if he doesn't remember?  
I call him name and he looks up.  
Does he remember?  
I take his hand and he begins to cry.  
He shakes his head back and forth.  
My soul is slowly shredding apart.  
He lays back down.

I turn to look up at him from where I'm laying, my heart beating faster.  
"Who are you?" I ask.  
He closes his eyes slowly and then opens them again.  
"W-who am I?" He seemed surprised.  
I was too tired to feel scared anymore.

Oh dear God, no!  
He doesn't… he doesn't remember.  
My eyes begin to water again.  
"My name is Francis." I smile and a few tears escape me.  
"And you're Arthur." I laugh, even though it hurts. "It's nice to meet you."  
He looks at me with such a sad expression.  
I can tell he's trying to remember.  
But he can't…

"Francis…" I call quietly to him.  
He looks at me, still crying.  
His eyes are red and puffy.  
I feel so bad, I can't even remember him. But something about him feels really familiar.  
"Are you going to stay here with me?"

He asked if I would stay with him.  
Such a silly question.  
I will always stay with him.  
Always.  
"Of course I am, mon cher."

He addressed me in French.  
I feel déjà vu…  
But why?

I smiled at him.  
His eyes were shinning brightly.  
I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath.  
I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.  
I gave his hand a light squeeze.


	3. The wall

((AN: Sorry it's been so long! I'm now working on Chapter 4 so that should be up within the week. Please enjoy this small but detailed chapter~))

The next 6 days were filled with small chatter and lots of card games.  
I taught Arthur how to play card games like Cribbage and Gin and he'd ask me questions about who he was.  
He'd ask what he was like before "the accident", as I so gingerly named it.  
I told him about how he'd drink tea every morning with breakfast and every night before bed.  
He asked what his favorite foods were, if he had any allergies. Nothing specific.  
He'd burst out with anything that came to mind.  
He didn't ask about what happened to him, about what he did. I was surprised about that.

The 7th day came and the doctors came in and took Arthur to get a few head scans.  
When the results came back they called me into the hallway.  
They showed me the scans and explained them to me.

They showed me all the brain tissue that suffered damage during lack of oxygen.  
They told me that the part that holds his memories had the most damage, but after a few years it'll slowly start to repair itself. Any of his experiences or anything he learns from here on out will remain in his mind and wont be effected. He'll remember as much as a normal person, but anything that happened in the past may or may not still be there. He said the part that holds his ability to learn was hardly touched and he shouldn't have a problem relearning everything in his daily life, once he returns home.

In the end he summed up everything by saying he was now the equivalent of a 16 year old boy, give or take. After a few weeks, maybe even months, of routine and settling back into his life at home and relearning everything having to do with being an adult then he should be back to normal; as far as "normal" was, that is.

While the week passed on, Arthur was still in the hospital. He was doing fine, considering the situation. But on the 9th day of Arthur being awake, something happened. Something drastic.

In the late afternoon, while Arthur was napping, his heart monitor sped up. Just as anyone else would do, I called in the doctor to see if it was normal; if maybe he was just having a nightmare. The doctor looked Arthur over once, twice. He started shifting on the bed, it was strange. Not like how he normally moves. The doctor told me to wait in the hallway and he called in a nurse.

This can't be good.  
I can't breathe.  
I think I'm hyperventilating.  
Another nurse escorts me to the waiting room and I don't put up a fight.  
Why is this happening to me?

It was 10 minutes before the doctors said I could return to his room. He told me Arthur had a mild seizure and I panicked. He laughed and told me to calm down, that this was actually a very positive thing to have happened.  
He told me after "the accident" that his brain put up a wall. His memories should be fluidly travelling through his head, but his brain put up a dam which caused him to forget everything. And no one knew if this dam would ever break.  
He told me his brain was trying to fix itself. His brain had mistakenly put pressure on the wrong part of itself which triggered a seizure, which released a chain reaction in his head. Pressure was then applied to the part which holds his memories and it may have cracked a hole in his mental wall. When he wakes, it's highly likely he'll have a few handfuls of memories flooding back to him. I sigh in relief.

I sat next to his bed, wishing and praying he'd remember who I was when he came to.  
He slept through the night, never stirring. The doctor said his body was in a state of shock and his mind is trying to work through everything that's coming through the wall. It's like trying to put a puzzle together without all the pieces. You have to work with what you have until you find the rest.

On the 10th day he had another seizure while he slept. The doctor didn't do anything to stop it. He explained it to me by saying that, to Arthur, these seizures are just small muscle spazzes in his head and his body will sort them out. In short: he needs them to remember.

I held his hand while his body twitched and I held my breath. I was glad when it was over. As much as I want him to remember, it's painful watching someone you love go through that, even if it didn't physically hurt them.

I sat next to his bed that night, just like I always did.  
Watched his calm breathing. He didn't have another seizure.  
It was the 11th day and I was still waiting for him to wake up.

He didn't.


End file.
